Hating my shadow, is hating myself.
Denying the character creates separation, to heal I must accept myself whole.
Integration:
Who I am? A question that has plagued every human being, especially in the critical stages of our youth. Everyone has a different answer, and today I come to share mine.
The format in which I write these letters is not the typical one, I write them thinking of you however… The only one I have to teach something is my inner self, the only one I can give good advice to, is Alejandro.
I am not light, I am not shadow.
Who I AM.. (personal entry):
Today I was on the verge of dissociating with my character, I felt confused, misaligned, and crestfallen. I was in therapy for several months, I worked on the perception I had of my own being, which I project to others. It turns out that like everyone else, I too have a costume.
My costume is not new, it dresses in different colors, it is charismatic, and it protects itself through words. There is also another character who uses this, but his face reflects a much uglier feeling. I am a multifaceted being, a whole show of slightly crooked characters lives inside me.
Surely you also have a thousand masks, surely you decide to hide what you really love. But anyway, I am not here to criticize or analyze what is inside of you. I am a mirror, I chose to share this experience to narrate my growth.
By being in therapy, I learned that I cannot get away from the dark parts of my soul. To hate my shadow is to hate myself. So by judging my "characters" I am creating a gap, my existence is altered and I end up lost.
“Do I do it for myself, or for others?”
“I wouldn't do that!”
“Why should I make everyone laugh?”
I made the gross mistake of judging in my observation. I used a tool to harmonize differences, and I ended up fragmenting my existence. What can I do? Recognize their deviations, and then integrate them positively into my life.
Unity:
There is a reason why my purpose / motto is I AM. When I discovered Neville Goddard's philosophy, I learned about the spiritual and physical power that comes with declaring, "I am." It is a liberating power that assumes in the present what lies in my being, from within I build the dream that is reflected in my external reality.
When I judge my character, I am judging myself.
When I curse my learning, I am cursing myself.
I separate myself by saying: "That character does that, and I don't." "That character is weak for wanting your attention, not me." each trial fragments the perception of myself, entering a process that ends up being a live suicide.
I started these diaries with the purpose of rebuilding my reality, as well as creating the being that carries my only truth. I forgot that the universe works with positive parameters, creating from fear or the negative only creates more problems.
“We are creative beings, the question is… Are you going to create from fear, or from love? — Hector Martinez
Side note: My mentor explained to me that forgiveness, observation, and even true communication, works through the interior. The world is governed through the unconscious, or the energy within us. But ... It works for me to drive at night, and speak with eggs directly to the souls with whom I have apprenticeships.
Buddha`s mask:
Integrating the shadow means moving with the will of my heart. Illuminate my fears with the truth of my voice, and realize that what matters is me.
What life am I living?
Should I be everything, or just a character?
None. Destiny awarded it to me, under my own yoke there is the light and shadow of the sun. To be Buddha I must observe one, I must be the observer, and in compassion enjoy the experience of today.
Integrating the shadow does not mean allowing it to absorb me, it is just the peaceful interaction with the other person, situation, or memory. The shadow is not integrated by treating it as queen, or cardinal point of my essence.
To integrate the shadow is to embrace with knowledge, the service that it provides me. Living in context with other humans, the process is not adjusting to them. But to realize that his presence does not influence what my soul has, and it is not necessary to force a character to be willingly.
I am not light, I am not shadow.
I am Alejandro García Marroquín, as long as I don't forget everything will be fine.
I AM..
